Miami, Fl
I have come
to the realization of a lot of things the past few months.
I received a message from one of my amazing
brother in laws. Let’s just say it made me think a lot of the path that I was
putting myself on.
Let me
explain something first about my gringo Italian brother in law. My Gringo we
will call him, he got married to my sister about a year and a half ago and they
recently had my little Italian nephew. When I first met him I was honestly not
sure of him. More because I just didn’t know him, but once I got to know him we
clicked in some way. He gets me and he looks out for me. We don’t know so much
about one another, but what I do know is that he loves and treats my sister
like gold, and that is one of the things that I love about him. He has this
amazing heart of gold which is kind, caring and just beautiful that creates
this amazing light around him. I love him so much and so great full that God not
only brought him to my sister life but brought my gringo into my life.
So about a
few weeks ago I received a message from him. He had concern about some of my
blog post and didn’t like what he read. It wasn’t that I was writing badly
about people or anything like that. It was more of how candid I have been about
my experiences with men that I have come in contact with. He wrote a very long
message telling the most amazing and inspirational things that made me think.
It’s funny
because when you go through some stuff in your life, sometimes people or
something happens to make you realize even more that you need to stop certain
things that are making you feel the way you are feeling or a bad behavior.
I was already coming to the realization that
my behavior was not at all healthy for myself. We as humans seek out attention
and some sort of love from others. sometimes we choose any form of it that we
can get, which is not a good thing at the end of the day.
I was very great
full and had realized a lot that day, I don’t want to be that person anymore, I
have so much in my life why do I keep doing the same thing to myself because
really I am only doing this to me!!!
I know I am
not perfect, no one is really.
What I want
is something that I have to work on every day.
Every day is
a constant struggle with certain demons that I have with myself, one can be
insecurities.
I have gotten much better with that, I have
become much stronger in so many ways, and I feel more empowered. For instance
(this is a rather small example) but I joined crossfit recently a lot of people
always talked so bad about it like it is crazy intense. I joined a little
worried and scared.
Guess what……. ILOVE
IT!!!
It challenges
me in so many ways, what I love about it is the support that you get from literally
strangers that are becoming friends. When you are running or doing some work
out and you pass by someone on your jog they tell you a positive thing like
good job, or you are almost done, or they give you a high five. It makes you
think yeah I am doing a great job. I love it when you know you are almost done
with the work out they start screaming at you, and they say come on your almost
there cat great job, everyone just cheers you on. I love the fact that they are
so positive and that is from perfect strangers. That is purely beautiful, that
empowers me in so many ways.
One thing
that I have realized that I have become more out spoken if someone is taking
advantage of me I will say something to that person.
I speak my mind and I feel free and I truly,
truly love this new freedom that I have with myself. Yes I have and I will
always be such a candid person about my life and experiences. But they will be
much healthier stories than what I have spoken about in the past. I want to be
stronger mentally than I have ever been before, so the past behavior has to
stop.
Thank you to
my gringo for being such a beautiful man with a heart of gold, I am so glad you
are a part of my family. I really hope that one day I am lucky enough to find a
man that will treat me the way you treat my sister.
Love you!!!
Sincerely
Catalina
