LISTENING TO: THE ALABAMA SHAKES
Things have
been going much better so far, I decided in my mind I wanted to change things
so I took the initiative and did it. Baby steps… my mind is much less jumbled. I feel normal in some ways, I know
that might sound weird, but at least for me it makes sense. Sometimes you think
to much as a person and you tend to overwhelm your own self. Can you believe
that I decided to clean my room one day and just organize it and things just
started feeling much better for me. It is so true what they say if your own
place is a mess than that is how your mind is, a disaster.
Things that I
have been doing lately has been going to cross fit. I decided to challenge
myself in someway. People always made it seem like it is something so difficult
to do, but it really is not. I realized I am not that coordinated and I cant
jump for shit. I try to jump rope the other day barely could do that. when I was
younger I was a champ at that. My family and I have been getting a long much
better. That is always a plus. My job is very good. I feel like my life is
doing much better.
Love I haven’t
really been looking for it anymore. What has happened for me from the last time,
is that I have been thinking differently. The way I have been looking at being
single is more in a positive way. I use to think that I was going to be alone
and miserable and no one likes me. All the negative shit came in my head, what I
started doing is thinking that he will come soon, one day he will arrive, and
what I get excited about is the fact that I will get to know this person and it
will be so easy. Not complicated like I have encountered, no judgment on me
being outspoken and expressing my thoughts and emotions and belittling my every
decision. I don’t want a bully as a boyfriend I want a partner someone that
will be there for me and help me grow just like I would do for them.
I do feel
much stronger these days emotionally, I have the power and control over my
life. I feel so thrilled.
One thing
that I just heard today is something that was a little scary. My dad is going
to have to get surgery tomorrow on his face. In January he went to Mexico for
like 2 weeks, he came back with something on his face. Now he had this before I
just never new about it because he never mentioned it before but I guess over
there it got bigger or something because when he came back you can see this
thing on the side of his face. He went to the doctor and got a biopsy on it. It
came back positive for cancer. It is very mild form of cancer and they detected
it early which is always a good thing. But that scared me when you hear the
word CANCER it is not an easy word to swallow especially when it is your father
behind that ugly word. I know everything will be fine. But it did make me think
so much more about him and especially my life. I never like to go and have
those morbid thoughts in my head, we all have them from time to time on how
things would end up being if you lose a loved one. The things that you will
miss out on now that they are not with you, it is a very sad thought.
So to end
this, please do me a favor put all your positive thoughts and prayers and pray
that everything will go well for my dad. I need him in my life, I need more
time with him.
Thank you
Catalina
