Dating in Miami....and Lying.

April 30th 2012

Miami, Florida

Listening to: Bon Iver

A new beginning......

I have decided to write a blog because I feel that it is an outlet for me to talk about what every woman and man wants to talk about.

   

Dating in Miami......

I have been single for almost two years now, and I can tell you first hand that I have come in contact with some very interesting men. Since my last relationship ended I honestly had given up on any hope of finding anyone decent enough to be with but then I had regained all that hope. I do not want to be that women that is bitter and angry and always blaming things on men. Yes there are those "Bad Men" but there are as well those "Good Men" too. I am not going to say that the year and a half that I have been dating they have all been bad men. No!! They were just not the right man for me. I don't lose hope at all because I have so many amazing men that are either in my family or have recently come into my family or my circle of friends. Every time I witness some amazing event like a wedding (for instance my sister’s wedding) it regains all my beliefs in Love and finding that right person. It is probably not my time yet.

I do get a question asked a lot from guys. Which is "you are so beautiful why are you single"? I use to answer and say I don't know why, but now I answer by saying "I choose to be single". I do choose this though. Because if I were that desperate enough to want to be in a relationship than I would be in a relationship with just about any of the guys I have dated in the past year and a half.

I don't want to settle for anyone.

Since I have been dating for a while now, every time I come home or get with my girlfriends I always have these funny or interesting stories to tell them which they always seem to enjoy hearing. I have dated guys, with really bad table manners, foot fetishes, weird eating quirks, emotional problems, you name it I have dated it. There are many different types of guys here in Miami, and we were all raised differently. I would not say that the reason why I am single is because I am too picky, you can ask my friends I am not picky, as long as I click with you and I am attracted to you and I have a connection than that is all that matters.


*According to Websters dictionary

Lie

1.      A false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.

2.      Something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture: His flashy car was a lie that deceived no one.

3.      . An inaccurate or false statement.

One trait that I do not like is a liar. That is something that I cannot stand with a passion. My last relationship that I was in was not a very healthy one. He had a tendency of lying to me too often, because that is something that he would just do. He was afraid of being honest with himself and with me or anyone else for that matter because the fear of my reaction drove him to lie. But my reaction was much worse when I found out he was lying than when I found out what he lied about. He could lie about something so tiny to something so massively large. I sometimes find that to be a trait of a coward. The more you lie the more of a coward you are. I do believe as humans we all lie some more than others, call it what you want a lie a fib. A lie is a lie and I do believe that you will get caught. He did every time. I sometimes feel that women are like Sherlock Holmes when they feel like something is wrong and you are lying they will go to every length to figure it out. It is that gut instinct that we have. The more that we have been burned in our life the stronger that instinct becomes, at least I can only speak for myself. The one lie that I caught him in that was to me the ultimate lie, was his feelings that he had towards a good friend of mine. I felt it the whole time. I didn’t want to believe that these two people who I trusted so much could betray me that way. It kept eating at me and making me sick to my stomach. But at the end of it I was right, that feeling of sickness was not me going crazy it was my bodies’ way of telling me something is wrong. One thing that I have taken from that relationship was how intuitive I really am. He even told me that. Which that has made me discover my gift of psychology of understanding the mind the human mind and trying to fix things. I have always wanted to fix things well people for that matter. Try to help them discover their voice and be able to communicate that. I will eventually go and pursue that career. Which that comes to this too, in some way having my voice heard but not only mine but others as well that is why I want to try to make this somewhat an interactive blog. I want people to be able to write to me and ask me questions and to be able to get a group of people to respond. Guys and girls can respond to this, feel free to ask whatever you want no topic is off limits here this is somewhat your forum of having your voice heard, if you want your name posted on here great if not than that is ok to.

So I have asked a guy that I have met online what would be one question he would like answered.

*Mark, 27

Occupation: Lawyer

"Who lies more Men or Women?"

I got so many answers from more women than men but it seems to me that it’s split in between.

My answer to that question would be, I believe we both equally lie on a daily basis but I believe we Lie for different reasons we both do it to get what we want somewhat a form of manipulation, but women and men equally lie women are just better at it, I think it has to do with the emotional aspect that we carry with us we tend to be much more dramatic so we would be considered more of the actress the better liar, Now granted there are those rare occasion that you will find a man that is much better of a liar. Men lie for smaller things for dumb things I believe they lie because they are afraid of our reaction so it is better instead of telling us the truth than to just bold face lie. Women do it for more of a bigger reason, I think a lot of the times why we are even lying (men and women) is to either not get caught or to just not hurt someone.

*Maribel, 38

Teacher

"I think men. Because they are not emotionally attached! They are afraid to deal with the truth so they think by lying they can get away with it."

*Katie, 21

Hospitality

"I would think men, but really it’s both kind of like 50/50. Because if you ask them what did or do you think about me or my outfit they will say the opposite of what you want to hear"

*Fabi, 30

Psychologist

"I think it is equal...to get what they want"

*Kristin, 26

Global Marketing Manager

"Women have to lie because the media makes them / inclines them to. For example. You know on TV everyone is perfect so women feel like they have to live up to that perfection. So women lie about their weight and age. Also women talk shit about other women; this is why I don't have many girlfriends. Most women are two faced and fake and really hard to trust. They are two faced because they want to please everyone while on the other hand men don't give a hoot!!!"

*Jennifer, 29

Public Relations

"I would say women lie more than men. Because men are pretty blunt and straight forward and most women can get away with lying"

*Tony, 51

Real Estate

"They both lie for different reasons, men lie strategically and women for emotional reasons."

*Jenny, 29

Banker

"Women lie more than men, its higher % than men... I believe. We lie/fib or keep things to ourselves simply to not hurt."

*Juan, 18

Barista

"Women lie more because they have what men want (the cookie)"

*Ernie, 19

Barista

"I don't think gender plays a role in who lies more than the other"

*Marco, 31

Physician Assistant

"Women!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For sure! It’s weird but women are better at lying. They are more emotional but yet they can hide their feelings better than anything."

*Mike, 22

Shift supervisor

"In general men and women lie equally; guys lie in general to hide their emotions"

*David, 27

Business Owner

"Men are the bigger liars when it comes to dating.
Women aren't too far behind though. Women just so happen to be better at hiding it".

If I could ask all women out there the same question.

"Why ask a man to do all these things you want them too then realize after they do it your bored?"

Woman make dating more complex than it needs to be. But I understand it’s all a part of the games a man and woman play.

*Mario, 27

Driver/Technician

"I think both sexes lie equally, but the difference is women are
better at hiding & disguising their lies. Men tend to lie about
stupidity, while women lie about more important things."

So to end this, my first blog ever written which I am very happy about. I thank you for reading this. I hope you did enjoy this first blog of many to come. If you want a question answered or just to respond to the topic you can. You can email me your questions or your response at Loveandlifeinmiami@yahoo.com

 “Things come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.”
― Dorothy Allison, Bastard Out of Carolina 

 “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
― Mark Twain

  Sincerely C.